During the initial lock-down period, I received several inquiries on personality development, especially from students and youngsters looking for jobs. Nilesh Patil was one such student, hailing from a small town in Maharashtra, pursuing his post-graduation in Mechanical Engineering. He had an outstanding academic track record and was preparing to enter the already-shrunk job market.
He responded to one of my Facebook ads and registered for a three-session online course on Personality Development. Here's what my pre-training discussion to understand him better revealed:
1. He was smart, knowledgeable, and quite good at speaking English.
2. He came from a humble background, staying alone in a rented room close to his college while his family lived in a remote village.
3. He was the eldest child in the family, had two younger sisters, and his father was a farmer.
4. He was shy, submissive, and helpful by nature.
His biggest challenge was meeting deadlines, submitting projects on time, and expressing himself confidently in formal environments.
However, in our first session, I discovered that the core issue behind missing deadlines was not his laziness, lack of knowledge, or procrastination. It was because he could not say 'No' to anyone who asked for help. And because of this, he was not able to prioritize what was important to him. He believed that saying no will project him as a negative, proud, unhelpful person, and he might end up losing his relationships with people.
Over subsequent sessions, we worked on learning and practising:
1. Basic principles of communication and interpersonal skills.
2. Assertiveness behaviour (how to say ‘no’ without hurting other people).
3. Prioritization.
At the end of three sessions, Nilesh found answers to his current life challenges and was happy after modifying his approach in dealing with people. He still feels good about helping people, but without losing his focus on his projects or control of his responsibilities.
Nilesh is busy with his academics and occasionally calls me to share the small, everyday successes and challenges.
Suppose Nilesh’s story resonates with you or reminds you of someone you know. In that case, this is to tell you that having low self-worth, being a people-pleaser, and being unable to prioritize are common issues that can be overcome even in a short time, with just a little help and the right amount of commitment. Especially - if you have a coach and soft skills trainer like me in your corner.
Like Nilesh, you too can make a positive change in your ability to express yourself assertively and influence anyone, thus creating an impact through communication. All you need is commitment, courage, and discipline.
Want to be a more Effective Communicator and Influence Anyone? Register for a session here: https://forms.gle/wP4sHLCQirmqtZ9w6.
For more details, contact me at 87796 20761 or log on to www.coachsuniel.com.
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